Group therapy.
Picture a dank room lit with fluorescent lights, complemented by cheap biscuits on a plastic table. You know, the ones in individual wrappings that have been half crushed. There's a palpable feeling of disinterest and the sounds of yawing in the air, it's simply clinging onto airborne particles of mildew of the disused scout hall. Members sit down to be given a weekly topic, and no one’s brave enough to say how much they detest this routine.
Okay so that’s one idea of group therapy.
Let’s picture something else.
Okay so there’s no biscuits this time, and thankfully yes there’s no mildew. Actually, it's a soft, gentle space in Brisbane City.
You do in fact sit down, and have a sense of disinterest in todays topic anyway, as it turns out.
You clear your throat, “I’m not sure why- but, I feel spacey and distant, kind of ... bored even”. The therapist looks to you with a mixture of surprise, curiosity and a small smile, “can you tell us more about this feeling, when did you begin to notice it?”
“Well it was when Grace asked me about the weather”, you reply hesitantly. The therapist turns to Grace and ask in a gentle voice, “Grace, any reaction to this?”
Grace appears slightly on edge, but manages, “I guess I wanted to say something, to include you in the conversation, I don’t know how though.... to be honest I wanted to ask about what you told us last week about your sister, but I thought the weather would be a safer topic”.
You chuckle as you reply-
“it’s funny because you're exactly the person I wanted to tell the end of my story to, the one about my sister”.
There’s some more chuckling around the room from the other members.
The therapists observes, “I can see you wanted to ask more, Grace, and connect, but your worries about how other people feel got in the way”.
Grace smiles, “how ironic, I guess I did that thing again. Worrying about others, getting in my own way”.
(Cut scene- or record scratch- whatever)
This kind of group therapy is ‘Process Oriented’ group therapy. It’s refreshing. It’s energizing and engaging. And time flies by when we engage with each other on the level of ‘process’.
Process: The in-between, here-and-now experience between two people.
The focus of process is the infinite relational field between two people. It's the reactions you feel towards others, their responses towards you, what you project onto others, and what they project onto you. It's the feelings evoked by others, what you wish to do to them, or do for them, or with them. It's feelings of sadness, closeness, avoidance, curiosity, anger, repulsion, jealousy, isolation.
Basically, the here and now experience of being in relation to someone else. And everything is up for discussion.
Here, we can get a hold of what is is that has been ailing you in the 'real world', the patterns you find yourself in, the ones that get you feeling alone, sad, scared, stuck, hopeless and angry.
Except this time, it's been captured, like a frightened rabbit- spotted.
The problem is here, live. It's in the room, and we can now do something with it.
Firstly, when we illuminate the process, we get to know what it is about how we perceive people that evokes reactions in us, and get to know who we are better, and get to know others better.
When we talk about the here and now, we are tapping into the single only space in time in which change can ever happen. It unlocks the patterns we have learned from history to be new, now and shapable. It's where the known is unknown, and ready to be molded and transformed into pure potential. Change, risk and opportunity live here.
Safety also resides in the process group. We ask for permission, we check-in, we encourage boundary setting, we protect and ask for what we are needing. We have a written contract to say how we will keep each other safe in this journey together.
In the group we discover new ways to live- we experience a new response from someone (a corrective emotional experience), we feel connected to others, we can practice new skills with them, and help each other do this. Together we confront and work through the unimaginable- the existential- endings and beginnings evoked by members leaving and join the group.
There is healing in the process group that is unique and powerful.
If you couldn't tell already, I'm pretty 'into' these process groups, and I hope to see these spaces grow.
This 2024 let's redefine 'group therapy'. Nasty biscuits and tedious small talk are 'out', deep and meaningful interpersonal experiences are 'in'.
Process Groups are run in the beautiful clinic space in my practice on Wickham Terrace every Thursday. I'd love to hear from you and talk about how we can get you started.
- Chelsea, your local Brisbane Psychologist
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